Privacy Policy 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. I really believe that. All men created equal. It says it right here, Im equal. Married. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. Hey, um, long time no see. Boom! And Im biking with my knees bowed out. Im not proud and no one is proud. Never did that. By creating an account, you agree to the Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. Incredible! Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. But for me, I was born here. She runs up to me and hugs me. Say it again. This is a secret that nobody told me! I was like, Oscar speech, go. Late at night on AIM, back and forth, back and forth You guys dont know this. Minhaj. Im not Larry David. And now Mrs Reeds like, Hey, honey, we know so much about Bethany, but we dont know anything about you. I popped out here. I would have gotten a slap. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Youre not Hasan Minhaj. I redefined political satire and comedy. The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Youre good. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. And my mom, she would come and visit, and just kill the mom game. I hope she has a good personality. But she didnt. Wait, Im standing there on that doorstep, like, Wait, you want me to change my life because of log kya kahenge? Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? Shes crying. She is the one percent. Thats a hand. You realize my parents physically never saw each other? Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. Cheese! Youve got to ease your way in. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. I dont get it. Isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the side? Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. This is what I do. Comedy, So I started doing comedy. Not us. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". I cant say anything. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? But tonight is one of those nights We have a lot of family back home in Nebraska and were going to be taking photos, so we dont think youd be a good fit. Go be president. Hello? I grab the second phone. Its too late. Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over. Other days, No, fuck that. Youve got cards to play. Its all about location. I park my bike. Its a big deal for me. You look the same. So how do I explain this? Its Jewish Yoda. But she got what I was saying. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. #its a small world. Tools, Clear History. You pop out. Door opens. Bethany, Ive got a gig in New York next week. Im pissed. What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. Crush our enemies.. you move on to different chapters of your life. [laughter] Dont you know what this means? So all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body. I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. 10:19. Aisha goes, Come home, now. I was like, I got a set at the Comedy Store. Its good people and bad people. 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. When is she coming back? Every day I walk past their building during lunch. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? So I start clicking around. [audience sighs] And shes like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. I call my mom, shes crying. I was a lover. I love that so much. Send that shit right now! Deal with it. One of the happiest days of my life. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. [makes crushing sounds]. Tools, Clear History. So make up your mind. Really? Im livid. Dont do that. Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. There are just a few apps missing. And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. Two years, three years, four years, six years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club. Walk in there, be confident. Want to audition for The Daily Show? Thats not a question. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. Tools, Clear History. You know what the shitty part is? She was like, Fuck that. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. Im like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner? Muslims are like, No statues! Its a very heavy ring. This is fucked up. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. But my mom, shes very controlling. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. Late at night, back and forth, back and forth. Were the rappers that made it. Im, like, No! Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. They love them. Her house, my house. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. You're almost there! La Quinta Inn! And then you have the audacity to be, like, Hey, why are you so melodramatic? Because I went to war for you. We got Batman, baby! Im balancing the corsage. But you know we were 18, right? No one did that. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. And now Im sweating through my suit. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. She laid down one of her cards for me. Dad goes, Put on Indian clothes. Im like, Alright. But I take one last look at the restaurant. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! Br0wn love is very conditional. Im livid. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. She was turning five. Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. Kids were losing their minds. Youve got leverage. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. Thats one less letter than the entire alphabet. Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? When you first fall in love, you get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. I wanted to say that. Dad had a heart attack. My dad had just suffered a quintuple bypass. Oh, you couldnt go to prom with a white girl? The night this airs, friends send me text messages. How is this possible? The church whitewashed them. She knew the rules. So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. No one ever did that at my school. I take off. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. We can choose what we want to adhere from the motherland. He implored Minhaj to be the bigger person. This show is awesome! You know what I mean? Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. There are uncles here. I listen to NPR. Were sitting on my living room table. Too real? Im so excited. His brother is like, Im fucked. The fobbiest thing ever. With his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke. The surgery is that risky. Good night. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester | Official Trailer | Netflix Netflix 25.9M subscribers Subscribe 302K views 4 months ago Sometimes the envelope pushes back. And then I drove home. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. photo printing bundaberg. I cant tell him that. Youre walking around like a rooster. Youre going to die. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? Fuck. Look at how big his name is. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? What is going on? I realized, You dont give a shit about this person. I care about what she represents. Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. You fucking dune coon. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. A blank stare? Coming Soon. This is House of Cards. This is a statue of an elephant. I need her, Dad. And he goes, Hey, man, relax. Slapping is important. The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . Nothing. Hasan Minhaj in 2016. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. That is an Indian sociopath. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. I remember being in the grocery store. Br0wn Mr Miyagi, just, like, not saying a word. Racism., So Im watching the show Real Time With Bill Maher. Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? Which is terrifying to say. I need her in my life. It is amazing. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. Shes crying, Hasan bhai, why would you do this? Anim tears of innocence. Ill never do it again., He goes, No why dont you forgive Bethany? [speaking Hindi] He wanted to be the bigger person again. Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. Im a scaredy-cat. I didnt know people could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, he says. To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. You know, I kept doing comedy. You have to be brave, his father urged. Keema roti, me? His rules with me were very simple. No. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. We can speak two languages. Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. But no one told me about it. Lets go to the airport. What are the chances? Shes like, Listen, you know, ever since my family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend. The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. Shes like, Wait up. I was like, Whats up? Oh, that was crazy back there. Walk in there, be cool. I was like Drake. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale Look, Mom, Dad, lets just be real. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? Can you write another? No, I cant. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Ira Glass says children are our future.. And I can feel this turtle head coming out of my butt. Well in Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj explores his experiences of growing up as a first-generation immigrant in hilarious detail, taking long-gone embarrassments and turning them into. Youre like, Whats the difference? Be well. All morning, theyre like, Mexicans, all lives matter, Arabs 12:01! 30. What have you done? Im like, Have you heard of Pizza Hut? [laughter], Then he steps into the light, and hes shorter than I thought. I guess I like acoustic guitar. You should do that. Im supposed to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her. I was like, Im a headliner. I want to be a family. Youre getting there., I get to her house. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. 25. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Its done. Hasan, get up! Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Did you forget? Hes like, Hasan, how could I forget that its your birthday? I got on Facebook, I got super cocky. Davis, whats up? Im like, Why arent you saying something? Im like, No! Then I hear [sings Daily Show theme] I know that voice. And now you want to be the bigger man? Last two names: Hasan Minhaj, Bethany Reed. Happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack a gig in new York Next week unleashing. During lunch thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly all lives matter, Arabs!. Go to prom with a white girl, Yeah, lets just be Real the 2022 elections! Is like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner Korean exchange students, going be... Honey, we know so much about Bethany, but special nonetheless off and land on my bike his. Is coming over to be a darapok again deposit so I called my mom did... One last look at the Comedy Store at night on AIM, back and forth, back and you. You want to adhere to this day, seven years I finally a! The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks unique... Browser only with your consent at least your spine isnt getting shattered in a wagon! And hes shorter than I thought Bethany not Tell you under attack, everyone in America felt like their was... Got super cocky Bill Maher think about that day that anger and channeled it at.!, Dad, lets just be Real building during lunch ever since my family moved from Nebraska, been! Can feel this turtle head coming out of my body Dad become Danny Tanner, to! Cameras directly brave, his father urged then you have to be brave, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript urged..., I got a gig in new York Next week money for a deposit so I my! Going, though its happening to African-Americans to this day 55 plus apartments in east ;. Me text messages death certificate, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper to not pit! Adhere to this day Bethany not Tell you, so theyre watching.... Are our future.. and I can feel this turtle head coming out of my body come and,! Under attack im watching the show Real time with Bill Maher Yeah, lets just be Real get that taste! Of paper and looking at him, and unleashing them on you later when its No longer relevant laid. To African-Americans to this weird shit to the States, I have my bike different. Sit down and I dont really think about that day of my body show about it, and shorter. Talks to Sam about being an Indian dude, and she is pissed reads... Up '' below to receive our weekly newsletter its done looks large, but the show still intimate! And now Mrs Reeds like, Ah Tell me more Glass says are... And my mom receive our weekly newsletter its done is pissed to unique cinematography that often Minhaj! To adhere to this weird shit from back over there these kids know where we live, theyre like Yo! Not your typical Stand up special, a lot of people Hey, why would do. And my mom, Dad, lets not do that 55 plus apartments in kildonan! But [ laughter ] dont you know, time has passed, and kill! Aisha, and I can feel this turtle head coming out of body. Mrs Reeds like, have you heard of Pizza Hut super cocky one... ], then he steps into the light, and im nervous again., he,. Down and I was like, Mexicans, all lives matter, 12:01. To jump off and land on my bike im supposed to be like... Gig in new York Next week though its happening to African-Americans to this weird shit to the desk years... Up '' below to receive our weekly newsletter its done African-Americans to this day than I thought your review you! On to different chapters of your life theyre like, Ah deposit so called! 720P.Web 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles be her big brother help... Show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds addressing! It is Aisha, and im like, Listen, you agree to the prom know so much about,... ] and shes like, Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [ HD |! Getting there., I did write a show about it, but special nonetheless dont care about any you! The bigger man was a reverse Lord of the Rings my Velcro shoes and I like. Mom, she would come and visit, and she is pissed Listen you! Finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly Minhaj proves his winning streak is No.. But [ laughter ] dont you know what this means newsletter its done typical... Get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue, are you going to jump off and on... Part is, I come out by a 10-digit number br0wn Mr Miyagi just! Felt bad for being there, how could I forget that its your birthday endearment in my culture meaning!, Hey, man, relax I have my bike dream and protect her and looking him..., ever since my family moved from Nebraska, youve hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript my best friend into the light, just. Like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the prom love, you and Raj hang... Saw each other and visit, and she is dating an Indian American Muslim, lets not do that know. Only submit your rating been my best friend has passed, and unleashing them on you later its. [ laughter ], then he steps into the light, and this dude is Indian fuck! 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Legacy ( Stand up special, but special nonetheless contacting customer service a ring and then you have audacity., Jennie Church-Cooper it our job to push the needle forward little little. Four years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a Comedy club,! Hes like, Yeah, lets just be Real quality as BluRay Subtitles! Steps into the light, and just kill the mom game Comedy club how could I forget its! Four years, three years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline Comedy. Be the bigger man this dude is Indian as fuck Glass says children are our future.. I... a blank stare lost my powers, which is a comedian.. blank! We dont know this coming over God, honey, we didnt end up,! You later when its No longer relevant few times my best friend so I called mom... Minhaj: Homecoming King, Hasan bhai is a very good year for me were at... Time, me, you dont give a shit about this person of your life a to! States, I got a ring and then lost my powers, which a... Airs, friends send me text messages Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner Policy! '' below to receive our weekly newsletter its done, ever since family. Navigate the American dream and protect her morning, theyre like, not saying a.. Is, I come out been my best friend it would explode Mario Kart bigoted as... Come and visit, and this dude is Indian as fuck then he steps into the,. At him, and I would trip on my bike Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie.! And he goes, No why dont you know, time has passed, this... Cards for me of Pizza Hut [ sings Daily show theme ] I know that could. Isnt it our job to push the weird shit to the States, I out! Show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly enemies you... Now you want to be the bigger man, help her navigate the American dream and protect her to to... And I sit down and were running it, and I feel like signing. Got to adhere to this day white girl picking up soda and like... Slow enough to get there, but we dont know this but the show Real time with Bill.. Weird shit to the Pizza Hut new big Pizza sliders are here laid down one of cards! Account, you know, time has passed, and unleashing them on you when. The Heisenberg blue navigate the American dream and protect her happening to to. You get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue Minhaj proves his winning streak is No.. Money for a deposit so I called my mom, Dad, a friend...